Childhood fear

Who thought that the statue of Buddha can be scary? I never thought of it as scary until I witnessed it.

I was 4 years old. I was going to a wedding with my father and my grandmother. We were going to the wedding by road. There was a hotel on the way. It was a fabulous 3 star luxury hotel. This hotel oozed sophistication. It was a 5 story hotel. Quite luxurious. Quite trendy. This hotel had its exterior in beige colour which was illuminated with golden warm lights. It had a huge statue of Buddha. This statue was almost 2 story tall. It was placed on the 3rd floor with a beautifully crafted arch. This statue was in a seated position.  His eyes were closed. 

If I think about it today it would have appeared serene. But not at that time. I still remember how the chills ran down my spine after seeing that statue.

I saw the statue illuminated in golden light. I saw its face. There were shadows around his face. The face appeared as if it had committed a heinous crime. It had a cruel grim on its face. It appeared scary. I was terrified after seeing that statue. I said nothing to my dad and my grandmother, but I was utterly terrified.

The wedding venue was very close to that hotel.  Within 5 minutes we reached the wedding venue. I saw my relatives. They came towards us to greet us. I couldn't hold it any longer.  I was so scared. I immediately started crying. They did not know what had happened. They could not understand why I was crying. Everybody presumed that I was crying because I was missing my mother who was with my sister at home. My sister wasn't well at that is why my mother decided to stay back with my her and I was asked to go along with my dad.  It was an obvious conclusion. Everybody tried to console me that it is just a matter of couple of hours. In a few hours I'll be home with my mother and my sister. 

I did not say anything to anybody. Even till date nobody knows why I was crying that day. I never told anybody that I was scared of the statue that I saw on the way.

Few years later when I was a teenager, I had to revisit my nightmare. I had to visit my aunt who used to stay near that "infamous" hotel. When that particular hotel approached, my stomach churned. I was scared that I had to look at the same statue again. I had to face my fear again and I was not ready for it. It was in the broad daylight when I reached  that hotel.  I saw that statue again. But now, in the broad daylight, it did not appear scary. It was huge for sure, but it was not scary. Rather, it appeared tranquil. It made me think again why I was so scared of this statue. Till date, I could not explain why it appeared scary to me.

This is how our childhood memories are. They are repressed. Our fears were illogical and unnecessary.  We cannot say whether what we saw was real or it was a figment of our imagination.