The body

Recently I attended the funeral of a dear friend—a young man in his early forties, who had his whole life ahead of him. It was indeed shocking, because he died suddenly after a brief illness. As soon as we received the news, my friends and I rushed to be there. We were saddened by his untimely departure. Something happened at the funeral that made me deeply reflect on the words we choose to say in moments of loss, and why we say them.

When we reached his residence, the arrangement towards his funeral were still underway. He was hospitalized where he took his last breath. Hence the formalities were still ongoing. I overheard one of his relatives speaking on the phone, "It will take 2 more hours. The body is not yet here. His uncle and cousins are at the hospital to claim the body. I will give you a call once it reaches here". This is a usual conversation in any home where someone has died. I heard the term "the body", it made me uncomfortable and sad.

When a person is alive they have a name. They have an identity. They are called by their name. They are addressed as "Mr" or "Ms" in the professional settings. They are referred to as "Shriyut" and "Shrimati" in traditional contexts. Maybe their close friends and relatives address them using a nickname - a name given out of pure love. While they are alive, they have a unique identity. But the moment they are no longer with us, their identity gets reduced to a generic term "the body". Nobody calls them by their name or nickname. I wondered why is that?

I thought more about it. What if it is a method of coping up with the loss? Once a person passes away, we can no longer maintain the same emotional involvement. It is difficult but ultimately we need to emotionally detach from them. What if calling the dead person "the body" is the easiest coping mechanism? What if the erasure of their identity could only be accomplished by using a generic term like "the body"? If we continue to address them with their real name or identity we would keep ourselves bound to them. Perhaps this is the true reason their name is left behind once they are gone.

What I overheard at that funeral stirred up a whirlwind of emotions and deep reflections. For me, my departed friend always retained his unique identity. I knew him by his name and nickname. While his kins would have been more emotionally bound to him. Probably referring to him as "the body" was not as cold as it sounded. It may have been a silent, unconscious mechanism that made saying the final goodbye just a little bit easier

Anyway I prayed for the departed soul. I pray that he finds peace and healing in the realm where he is right now. Om Shanti.